


midnight walk

by byfeem



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 8th year, Angst, F/M, Hand Job, Hogwarts, M/M, Making Out, houseelves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-02-18
Packaged: 2019-10-31 00:46:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17839208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/byfeem/pseuds/byfeem
Summary: Harry is plagued with nightmares and guilt after the war. Sometimes he wanders the castle and finds things that he wasn't looking for.. and that might even help with the nightmares.





	midnight walk

"Fuck you, though", Harry heard Ginny hiss to Blaise, before throwing her hair back and with her head held high, she walked away. Harry shock his head, continuing to watch Blaise who grinned and calmly strolled to the Slytherin table. 

"You're looking as if you've seen a ghost Harry honey, did Malfoy look at you the wrong way?", Ginny asked sarcastically as she passed him, patting his shoulder. 

"You won't get used to it if you never try." 

Harry shrugged and turned to head to their table as well. 

"I told you he's not good news, Gin." 

He didn't understand the new relations that were formed between the Slytherin house and the others. Just because the war was over didn't mean everyone had suddenly change, did it? Take Malfoy for example. Or better not because you can't really compare him to anyone else. But Slytherins still talked badly about Muggles, didn't respect the other houses and believed to be worth so much more. At least so far, he hadn't heard anything contradicting.

"You know that it's not true Harry, right?", Hermione said, eyeing him carefully as he sat down. 

"You've spent your whole life hating them just like they hated you but nobody went through the war without it having any impact on their lives. They know what words can do now. And I do believe a war can change people“ 

"I know I know, let it go", Harry grumbled, turning away from her. 

She kept telling everybody about the importance of treating every student equal this year and Harry got it, of course he did. But something inside of him still was reluctant. Maybe because it was all too good now. The teachers played all a little too nice, as if they were trying to cover up what had happened. 

"I can relate though", Ron threw in, aggressively chewing his chicken. 

"I don't know what she sees in him." 

“Thats funny, some people have said the same thing about me", Hermione said gently, standing up. 

"It's not yours to judge Ronald." 

"Is she mad?", Ron asked after she had left. 

"You would know", Harry answered, his gaze wandering through the great hall. 

They couldn't have changed. People don't just change all of their views. It doesn't happen. Hermione had to be wrong. 

 

He didn't eat anything that evening and left after Ron had finished both of his vanilla puddings when the hall was almost empty. Only then the man realized how hungry he actually was. 

"You know I don't like them together, too." 

"Have you ever liked anyone who's been with your sister?", Harry pointed out.  

Ron shrugged, jumping off the staircase. 

"You were okay." 

"Thanks." 

"Yeah but see, she's stronger than all of them. If he hurts her,  she'll hurt him back. She's not a princess.. What are you waiting for ?" They had stopped in front of the portrait, both expecting the other to know the password. 

"Well, i don't know it", Harry told him, suddenly feeling as if he belonged in the first year. 

"Could you just let us in? You know who we are.", Ron begged the fat lady but she shock her head. 

"You could have drunk a potion, have you thought about that? And where would we be if I just let everyone in that might belong to this house?i would be the one working here, having to remember all of you. Do you even know-" 

"Okay we just go then", Harry said, pulling Ron on his sleeve. 

"Hermione is probably in the library, whyever she would have to be there without even having homework on the first day back.. Class didn't even start yet. Anyway, let´s go there first.“ 

"You go“, Harry decided. 

“I´ll get some food from the kitchen, should have eaten something earlier.“ 

"Alright.." Ron stared at Harry for a second as if he was about to say something but let it go and turned to head towards the library. 

Harry took his time walking to the kitchen, glad to have some alone time. After the war he couldn't stand being alone for much longer than an hour but desperately needed those few moments. Whenever he was alone he felt as if he was missing out, as if there was still someone to look after, someone that might get hurt if he didn’t figure something out.  
_It´s over_ , he told himself. _There´s no one left so save_. 

 

He didn't feel like going to the kitchen after all and took a corridor leading to the owlery. He was halfway there when he realized it. He stopped immediately and turned around. _Why do I keep doing this?_ He's walked that way so many times but now that Hedwig was gone, he couldn't go there anymore. _It´s my fault_ , he thought. For a second he heard Hermiones voice, reassuring him a thousand times that no, it was never his fault, none of it.  
The corridor was empty and he stopped, looked around and sat down, leaning against the wall. _Is this why I cant be alone? Is it guilt?_ Harry felt his eyes burning as he thought of Hedwig. But it wasn't Hedwig only, it was everyone. Everyone that fought with him and everyone that lost their lives in the war. Everything in this castle reminded him of those who had fallen, fallen for him. 

_This is why I cant be alone_. 

Harry put his head on his knees and wrapped his arms tightly around his body. Before he had defeated Voldemort, he had thought that afterwards, everything would be better. Everything would be good. But somehow it wasn’t. 

 

He didn't know how long he had sat there. After a while he heard distant footsteps and voices and quickly stood up. For a second he felt dizzy but quickly started walking, away from the voices. He wanted to be alone but he couldn't be. So maybe the kitchen wasn't so bad after all. He could sit with the house elves, drink some tea, talk to-  
He let out a small angry scream.  
But still, thinking about the little house elf that saved his life not long ago, Harry decided to go to the kitchen anyway.

 

Most of the house-elves stood in a semi circle in a corner, seeming as if they were surrounding something. At Harrys arrival, they started giggling and whispering, some screamed his name and stumbled towards him, some bowed down and others just stared at him with their big round eyes. 

"Im sorry to intrude, I-“ 

"Master Potter won´t ever intrude“, Kreacher croaked and walked towards him, bowing all the time. 

"You don't have to bow Kreacher, it´s okay“, Harry said. 

"Do you want some food, sir?“, a tiny house elf asked shyly and immediately everyone else started nodding excitedly. 

"Yeah, I mean, if you don't mind..“

"Usually people don't get hungry after dinner, Potter.“ 

"Wh-what-" 

It couldn't be him, not here. 

The elves stepped aside and revealed what was in the circle, someone sitting with his back leaning against a wide shelf, looking up to the startled Harry. 

"Two young men hungry after dinner. This evening is strange, indeed“, one elf whispered. 

"What are you doing here?“ 

"Probably the same thing as you“, Draco said, hesitating for a second. 

"You can sit with me“, he said, looking him up and down. "What happened to you?“

"Nothing happened to me.“

"You look as I looked after you found me in a bathroom in our sixth year.“

Harry winced. He never apologized about the curse, but he couldn't do that right now.

"I-“

"Sit. Or do you want to eat standing up?“ 

Harry hesitated but a growl from his stomach made him move forward. He sat down with crossed legs, keeping his distance from Malfoy who seemed impossible to read. 

His feet tapped to a beat only he apparently heard and his eyes looked open. Nothing dark in that face, it almost didn't seem familiar anymore to Harry. He quickly shock his head as he realized that he had been staring and turned to the elves surrounding now both of them. 

"What do you wish to eat, sir?“, an old elf asked. 

"I can highly recommend the spinach“, Malfoy said, pointing with his head towards his  
thighs on which an empty plate was sitting. 

"So i just take that then“, Harry mumbled and a few house elves immediately hushed away.  
Harry noticed the other boy looking at him when he looked away and started to wonder what he was doing here. Draco Malfoy didn't seem like a person that comes down here in the kitchen talking to house-elves, whose only purpose seemed to be serving him. Maybe he liked that feeling though, being surrounded only by those who willingly do whatever he orders them to. Harry shouldn't have stayed. He should have asked for food and then left again, there was no sense in staying here with Malfoy, they've been avoiding each other since the year had begun, about a month ago. And now they sat with each other on the kitchen floor? 

"So what are you doing here“, Harry asked, as two of the house elves thrusted an overloaded plate into his hands. 

"Probably the same that you do, I got hungry?“ 

"Now i haven't seen you the whole last month and now we are eating dinner together“, Malfoy stated. 

"Do you think I'm up to something again or was this really just accidental? i don't think anything´s ever accidental with you though.“ 

Draco examined the Gryffindor who seemed to get slightly nervous and pulled more spinach in his mouth so he didn't have to answer. 

"If we didn't meet here on purpose though, you might expect me to leave, so you can eat alone?“ Harry quickly shock his head. 

"It´s not like it´s my kitchen“, he mumbled, still with his mouth full. 

"So if it was yours, would you want me to leave?“ 

Again, the boy shock his head, eventually swallowing all the spinach, wondering how he could drop this subject. He couldn't exactly tell what he felt so he tried to shake it off. 

"So what have you been up to?“, he asked. 

Draco waited for about two seconds, then he smiled and turned away, watching the elves listening carefully. 

"Oh you know the usual.“ He turned back to Harry, grinning at his looks. 

"Homework, for example. And we´re currently discussing the furnishing in our common room cause we need new armchairs. I heard you don't approve of Blaise and Ginny's relationship?“ 

"Not much for small talk, are we?“, Harry asked, suddenly feeling embarrassed by all the elves listening to their conversation.

"Would someone mind getting me a bowl of that vanilla pudding? I heard its fantastic.“ Immediately at least ten house elves stormed away, all hoping they would be the one handing the pudding to the boy. 

"Do you do this often?“, Harry asked, attempting to move the subject in whole another direction. 

"What? Eating?“

"Going here?“ 

"Sometimes. I like it here.“ 

"And why exactly?“ 

Draco smiled once again, thanking the house elf that brought him his bowl of pudding. 

"You still haven't answered my question, Harry.“ 

"Harry?“ 

"I thought that was your name or am i wrong?“ 

The boys stared at each other and Harry wondered how the hell he had gotten into this completely odd situation. 

"Harry Potter, it is, Mister“, one elf said, surprised that Malfoy didn't seem to know the boys name. 

"He's defeated the dark lord.“ 

"Well I know about that“, Draco answered. 

The atmosphere had suddenly changed, the war was something neither of them was comfortable talking about, neither of them had been able to process all that had happened and there was so much feeling linked to it that talking about it just hurt, especially with someone like Malfoy it was impossible to even think about speaking about what had happened. 

“She's like my sister, you know“, Harry finally said, realizing if he had to discuss something linked to feelings with Draco Malfoy, it better be anything than the war. 

"And I'm not sure if i can trust him.“ 

"You don't have to trust him, do you? Its enough if they trust each other.“ 

"I just don't want her to get hurt.“ 

"Well, to be honest she can get hurt by anyone and I'm pretty sure the guy who hurts her will pay the price“, Draco said, basically paraphrasing what Ron had already said. Maybe Hermione wasn't wrong after all. 

"Are you sure you're not jealous, though? Perhaps its that.“ 

"No I’m-" Harry looked up from his plate and into Draco's eyes, not believing that they were casually talking about their friends love life after not having spoken in ages and after all they've been through. „

“I'm not jealous. i just- i mean I'm not-" 

"You don't have to justify yourself, its actually none of my business.“ 

Harry might have mistaken, but for a second he believed to saw a painful expression in the eyes of the slytherin but it was gone quickly and he sighed and stood up. 

"I better go. Don't wanna run into Filch when its past bedtime.“ 

"Trying to stay out of trouble?“, Harry asked, surprised by the sudden decision to leave. 

"Not quite. Just not trying my hardest to get in trouble. As some other people might“, he said and winked. He _winked_.

When he was almost out the kitchen, Harry called after him.

"You know if this was my kitchen i wouldn't ask you to leave.“ Why did I just say that? Of course he would want him to leave, it was Draco Malfoy. He couldn't be trusted. Or could  
he? 

Draco turned to him and smirked, for the first time this evening. 

"That´s because you're too polite, Harry.“ 

 

"The weirdest thing just happened“, Harry breathed out as he let himself fall on the floor next to Ron, who was leaning against a bookshelf, watching Hermione who sat on a table in front of him write something on a long parchment. 

"Did you see Mcgonagall making out with Flitwick?“, Ron asked. 

"What no, of course not.“ 

"Then mate, I can assure you that the weirdest thing did not just happen.“ 

"Give him at least a chance“, Hermione mumbled, not looking up from her paper. 

"I just met Malfoy in the kitchen.“ 

"Well that might be weird but i wouldn't give you an award for this“, Ron said. 

"Yeah but it actually happen, whereas Mcgonagall never-" 

"Well we don't know about that.“ 

"Why were you in the kitchen right after dinner?“, Hermione interrupted. 

"I didn't really eat anything then and got hungry. Anyway, he was there chatting with the house-elves and then he was chatting with me and he called me Harry..“ 

"That´s your name, isn't it?“, Hermione pointed out and Harry shock his head. 

"He said exactly the same thing.“ 

Well, there might be a reason for that one“, Ron mumbled but Hermione interrupted him. 

"Maybe he was hungry, too. And maybe he is tired of all the childish nonsense with you so he decided to act as an actual adult. I don't think that means he's up to something." 

Ron chuckled. 

"Hey, i never said he might be up to something and the last time i said it-" 

"It was actually true, yeah yeah we know. But Harry, the war is over. Maybe you two can try to start new.“ 

Harry couldn't sleep. He felt as if the only time he had slept well was the night after he had killed Voldemort, when he thought everything was finally okay. He couldn't have known back then that he would wake up from nightmares almost every night. Being who he was, he never once mentioned his dreams to his friends, figuring after what they had been through, all of them had a rough time and basically the whole of Hogwarts probably suffered nightmares from time to time. He was sure that Hermione knew though, but he wasn't worried yet, thinking she’d be respecting his privacy.  
He wondered about Ginny and Blaise for a while but then he got bored and started wondering about what had happened in the kitchen two days ago. Maybe Malfoy did plan something and his subconsciousness knew already. _The war is over_ , he heard Hermione's voice in his head. It´s all over, finally. Theres no reason for Malfoy to plan anything anymore, he wasn't forced to now. But maybe there was something Harry didn't and couldn't know about. something new. He turned around in his bed for, as it felt like, the hundredth time.  
After an hour of tossing and turning, Harry stood up, poured himself a glass of water and slipped into his shoes after drinking it out. A walk could help, he thought, reaching for his wand on his nightstand and once again remembered what Hermione had said. There was no danger out there, no weapon needed, the castle lay calmly and he would probably be the only person around. But what if i need it for lighting my way? What if i need to unlock a door? Sighting, he turned around, leaving the wand where it was, more to prove himself he was able to leave it than he was actually believing he wouldn't need it. Quietly he walked out of the boys dorm, through the common room and then simply wandered the castle without a destination.  
It was dark, for sure. He could have used some light, he thought and when he hit his head at a statue he cursed himself for being too arrogant for bringing his wand. They were basically like smartphones in the muggle world, he said to himself. 

He found it was strangely calming to wander the halls in your pajamas, not knowing if Filch or Mrs Norris waited around the next corner. _Maybe I need this sort of adrenaline in my life_ , he thought. A few times a portrait stopped him to talk a bit and Harry always agreed to have a little chat mostly about how things have changed but how good it was that everything stayed the same. After around twenty minutes he suddenly felt terribly vulnerable. Behind every wall, it seemed, there was a Death Eater trying to punish him for destroying their master. If he was destroyed. His voice was still there, in Harrys head, so how can he be gone? Maybe he was waiting for his turn again. Just like the last time everyone celebrated, thinking he was gone for good. Maybe he was even here, here in this castle. And Harry didn’t take his wand with him, the only way he could defend himself. The only way he could defend his friends here. By not taking his wand with him tonight, he had endangered all of Hogwarts.  
He had reached the staircase of the astronomy tower now. Not having been there since he was there with the former headmaster, actually he feared going there, he feared reliving the moment. But if there was someone around him that planned to harm him, they better kill him exactly where Dumbledore was murdered. With that thought and feeling slightly proud for whatever reason, he climbed up the staircase and as soon as the fresh air hit him he knew nothing of this was true. There weren't Death Eaters in Hogwarts, he had been overreacting again. Everything was fine, everyone was asleep. _He felt himself gliding from the broom, his feet hitting the ground again. The headmaster was pale, very pale_. 

No. 

Harry shock his head aggressively to get the images out of his head. He stood exactly where he stood, stunned, with the last spell he was ever going to cast. Harry swallowed hard, not moving away as if he had been stunned again. He felt sick as he remembered Greyback and Bellatrix and felt pity when he remembered Malfoy, almost as pale as the headmaster himself. Harrys mind felt dizzy and he reached out for the stone cold wall, holding on to it in order to not lose his balance.  
He breathed quickly, leaning against the wall, almost hoping for someone to come and it would be an honor to die the way Dumbledore had. _I don't want to think anymore_.  
He ran down the stairs. This was a bad idea. Harry fell down on the bottom of the stairs and stayed on the ground for a couple of seconds. When he tried to get up, he fell down again, his whole body shaking.

"Let´s get out of here, Harry“, someone said and Harry knew it was Malfoy but he didn't remember him saying that in the night Dumbledore had fallen down the tower. 

In fact, this couldn't be a memory. The warm hands on his shoulders holding him up and guiding him away from the stairs and through an arc had to belong to the real Malfoy. He was only then sure when he looked at him in a hallway Harry didn't seem to recognize, as they sat on the floor together, Malfoy's wand shining between them. 

"Just breathe“, he said, carefully placing a hand on Harrys arm. "It'll be okay soon.“ 

And somehow he kept mumbling reassuring phrases in Harrys ear and somehow that made him feel better. He started breathing relatively normal again, his chest stopped aching and he could focus on what was happening. He wasn't in a hallway but a classroom he's never been in. There were tons of books in shelves on the walls and where there weren't shelves, runes were carved in the walls. "Is it better now?“, Draco asked, turning off the light. 

“I´m - yeah, I'm good.“ 

"You were there, weren't you? That night.“ 

"Yes.“ 

"I- I´m sorry, I didn’t- I mean, I-" 

"I know.“ 

"You must hate me. I mean you already did before but like, really“, Malfoy's voice broke and Harry felt that his hand had left his arm. 

"I don't hate you.. We don't have to talk about it, nothings changed.“ 

Both fell silent for a few moments, until harry spoke again. 

"Why are you here?“ 

Draco didn't answer for a few seconds and the Gryffindor feared he had asked something that was a sensitive topic, but then he looked up at him. 

"I like walking around at night. Being completely alone.. I had trouble with the tower, too, but since we got class here as well.. I heard you dropped astronomy?“ 

"I couldn’t go there again. It might be cowardly but I just couldn’t.. I mean you saw what happened.“

They sat in the dark together for a while until both heard footsteps outside the classroom and a person trying to open the door. Harry jumped up, reaching for his wand and one again cursing himself for not bringing it. How could he be so careless? 

"Shh, Harry, i looked the door.“ After a few seconds the person outside had given up and they heard them leaving again. Draco stood up, facing the Gryffindor who still hadn't moved. 

"Don't you have your wand with you?“, he asked quietly. 

"I left it in the dorm, I thought- well, Hermione said the war is over and I just didn’t want to.. looks like I should have brought it.“ 

"That was probably just Filch“, Draco said and Harry could feel his eyes examining him even in the dark. 

"No.. he walks different.. and he would have cursed..“ Just now Harry realized that this could have been anyone, someone invading the castle. 

Who was even up at three in the morning trying to get into an empty classroom? 

“Let´s get some sleep, what do you think?“, Draco asked. 

"Yeah..“ 

He didn't want to go, not just yet. Why, he couldn't really tell but it sure wouldn't be safer outside.

When they were walking slowly down the hall, Harry figured Hermione had some good points. If Malfoy didn't make complete fun of Harry, something had to have changed. The old Malfoy would never have helped Harry to get over his anxiety attack or stayed with him, while using his first name and whispering affirmations in his ears. Now that he thought about it, this seemed to be quite paradox. 

“Malfoy why are you being so kind?“, Harry asked straightforward. 

"You saved me. You saved my family. I never really hated you and I believed its time to start new. I figured you probably wouldn't want to but still I thought being mean wont really work anymore so if i was gonna be nice you might just be neutral.“ 

"Wait, you never really hated me? Have you forgotten the past few years?“ 

"I was embarrassed, humiliated even after you rejected me on our first school day. I know now but how could i understand why you wouldn't be friends with me at that age, I thought i was doing everything right. Plus, I was jealous. Not a good combination, is it?“ 

“I just couldn't take who you treated my friends or talked about my parents. I didn't see any reason for you to hate on me like that. Or on anyone else, in fact.“ 

"I know. I know and Im so sorry.“ 

And Harry knew he was, he could tell by his voice that he was crying but wasn't going to say something about it. He remembered Draco calming him and the strange classroom, feeling guilty that he felt so helpless now, not knowing what to say. Almost he wished that they weren't already at the Fat Lady´s portrait who eyed them suspiciously, he liked to just walk with him for a while. 

“Thank you“, Harry said so quietly that he didn't know if the Slytherin even heard it. But he only smiled sadly and nodded. 

“Always.“ 

 

 _He cried because he was thinking about hurting me. Or hurting others, generally_. Harry stared at the Slytherin table, wondering if maybe last night hadn't been anything more than a weird dream. 

"Are you not eating on purpose? So you can go to the kitchen later? Harry, Im starting to think that Malfoy and you are up to something“, Ron said jokingly. 

"I don't get it“, Harry stated, pulling his gaze away from the other houses table and stared at the great amount of honey that Ron poured on his piece of bread. 

"What exactly?“, Hermione asked, turning a page from her daily prophet. 

"Something interesting?“, Ron mumbled, his mouth full, honey dripping on the corners of his mouth. 

"Not really“, Hermione replied, distracted. "The front page is about a break out from the ministry. But look how things changed. No death eaters, simply a singing dog.“ 

"I want a singing dog. Can we get one when we´re married?“, Ron asked and Hermione nodded absently. 

"Sure if you keep him quiet when I study.“ 

She didn't even seem to realize what she had said but Harry noticed her blush slightly. 

"Did she just agree to marry me?“, Ron whispered and 

Seamus, who was sitting on his other side, punching him on his shoulder. 

"Congrats, mate! How about we celebrate tonight? I wanna make a party but need a reason.“ 

"Yeah, let´s celebrate Hermione possibly saying yes someday in the future. Sounds legit, I bring fire whiskey“, Dean cried and Hermione turned  
completely red. 

"I´m gonna tell everyone about it! Lets say eight o’clock?“, Dean asked excitedly and jumped up, didn't wait for anyone to agree or disagree and stormed over to the Hufflepuff table. 

"Thats settled then“, Ron grinned. 

"Don't you think you'll get around actually asking“, Hermione said, raising an eyebrow and now it was Ron’s ears and cheeks turned red. 

"Let´s.. get somewhere else“, he whispered and waited for Hermione to put together her newspaper. 

"I´ve never seen someone who's quite as cute together“, Seamus said, looking at Harrys best friends walking out of the great hall, hand in hand. 

"If they really are gonna be married, they will forever and always look back to this moment“, Neville said. 

"Yeah, I´m the reason they'll marry“, Seamus grinned, putting a hand on his own shoulder. "Well, one could have argued that love was playing a role“, Dean pointed out, suddenly appearing behind his boyfriend. 

"Thats an interesting thought“, Seamus admitted, letting Dean put a light kiss on his lips.  
"What would you say about inviting Parvati's exboyfriend tonight? He's kinda cool and I don't think she would mind after she’s with that strange-" 

"Yeah, invite him." 

"You know, I hope Goyle won´t come when Blaise comes, but i don't think he would dare going in the filthy Gryffindor common room, that must be beneath him, don't you think?“, Dean continued, obviously begin overly excited by the idea of a party. 

"He's actually okay, I talked to him a few days ago“, Neville threw in. 

"You got to act as if it he is a totally new person, that makes everything so much easier, then.“ 

"Well, okay“, Dean shrugged. 

"He can come.“ 

"Harry if you keep on looking like this I´m gonna match you up with Parvati's ex tonight, Im not kidding“, Seamus threatened. 

"I´m still not gay, Seamus“, Harry answered and yawned. 

"You don't have to be gay, he’s gorgeous. Not as gorgeous as Dean though but you can´t have him so..“ 

"Who are you even talking about?“, Harry asked, wondering when he could finally leave, thinking a cold shower before class might help to feel more alive. 

"Do i detect a sign of interest?“, Dean asked and winked. He leaned in, whispering something into Seamus´ear who grinned, looking over to Harry. 

"Make it two“, he said. 

"You better not disappoint us, Harry!“, he laughed.

It seemed as if half of Hogwarts was going to appear at that party and it being considered a post marriage proposal party didn't make it better.  
Seamus had put up a sign that underage students weren't allowed in the common room that day starting at eight o’clock.  
Harry was sure that Hermione was going to be mad about that but she only seemed to have eyes for Ron that day.

In every class they were now discussing the party, even as they were wandering through the forbidden forest with Hagrid, supposed to not speak a word. 

"If you're not quiet now you won´t be able to hear it“, Blaise told Seamus when Harry passed them. 

"Hear what? Did Hagrid even say whats going on?“ 

"Well, you might have been too busy to hear it. Hey, I wanted to ask something. Is it okay when Draco comes tonight? He didn't say anything  
but he's not talking much lately and maybe that would be some distraction.“ 

"Sure, everyones invited. We can pair him up with Parvati’s ex, he's coming, too.“ 

"That guy from Ravenclaw? Simon something?“, Blaise asked. 

"I know him, he's got something and I'm not even into guys.“ 

"He's reserved for Harry anyway“, Dean told him. 

"Okay, I´m gonna tell Draco he can come then. Didn't know Harry was gay though." 

"Well, he doesn't know yet“, Seamus laughed, receiving several shh´s from around him. "For the record, I´m not. And I´m walking right next to you“, Harry grumbled. 

"Nobody cares, you know“, Blaise informed him. 

"Finding your sexuality. Good luck man. We’ve all been there.“ Blaise grinned, patting Harrys shoulder and sped up his pace, trying to reach Draco, who was walking several feet in from of them. 

"Wait I- I´m gonna invite him“, Harry quickly said. 

Blaise just smirked at that. 

"Here´s to finding our sexuality, buddy." 

Draco was walking with Pansy when Harry reached him. They weren't speaking, probably focusing on the task Hagrid had given them. He  
surely doesn't wanna hear something now, Harry thought, not wanting to ruin whatever they were doing. He felt ashamed about not listening to what Hagrid and been saying during class and told himself he would listen next time. 

Just as he slowed down to fall behind again, Draco turned his head. 

"Hey“, he said. 

"I´m gonna go over to umm Neville“, Pansy whispered, sauntering away like a ninja. 

"I reckon you heard about the party?“, Harry asked, feeling nervous all of a sudden. 

"Yeah.. He didn't really propose, did he?“ 

"No“, Harry laughed quietly. 

"He just gave a hint at a possible future life which gave Seamus and Dean the perfect excuse to have a party again.. are you coming?“ 

"Are you inviting me?“ 

"Well, technically yes.“ 

"Okay." 

"Since when are you actually doing what we are supposed to in this class?“, Harry asked, attempting to continue the conversation, not Draco wincing. 

"I can never redo what I´ve done to him and let my father do to him, it is surprising he hasn’t kicked me out yet. Just shows he's a way better person than i could ever be.“ 

"I didn't mean to-" 

"I know“, Draco smiled sadly.

 

"Yo man it´s nice that you attend your own damn party! Without you, this would never have happened!“, Seamus screamed as Ron squeezed through the crowd towards them. 

"I highly doubt that“, he grinned. 

"Have you seen Hermione though? Maybe she's too embarrassed to attend, what would you say?“, Ron asked, nodding at Harry who just sent two third graders back to their dorm. 

"I´d say I'm hella drunk and it´s not even nine! I´d be the one being embarrassed but as you can tell I´m drunk so i don't really care. I need to find my boyfriend, where the hell is he?? Uhh, Harry, there´s your man, guy.“ he pointed with his head towards a black haired ´seventh grader with strongly defined cheekbones and dark eyes. 

"He looks kinda like Draco, don't you think?“, Ginny giggled, putting her chin on Harrys shoulder. 

"Absolutely not“, Harry disagreed determined. 

"Except Draco having light hair and eyes of course. Everyone´s so handsome“, Ginny sighed, wrapping her arms around Harrys waist. 

"Are you drunk, Gin?“ 

"I believe she’s simply trying to get you to talk to him“, Seamus threw in, patting Ginny's head. 

"You're beautiful, too.“ 

"Would you tell me why everyones so obsessed with that guy?“, Harry asked annoyed. "Here drink that, you’ll love the thought after it“, Ron  
told him, handing him cup. 

"Ew, whats that?, Harry asked after having taken a big sip. 

"And Ginny stop suffocating Harry“, he said, ignoring his friend. 

"Oh, look who's coming“, Ginny squeaked, squeezing even tighter. Harry looked to the portrait hole to see Malfoy, looking as if he didn’t knew where he belonged. Automatically he put the cup on his lips and took a few more quick sips. Just as he started wondering why Ginny was so happy to see Malfoy, he saw Blaise standing next to him. She let go of Harry and ran over into Blaises arms. Harry followed her, not quite as fast but with a similar goal, without even knowing why he headed in that direction. 

"Hi“, he said to Malfoy by the time he had reached him, continuing to sip at the liquor Ron gave him. 

“Hey.“ 

"Glad you could make it.“ 

"Really?“ 

"Yeah“, Harry said breathlessly. 

"Are you alright? What´s in that cup?“ 

"I don't know, Ron gave it to me“, Harry mumbled. 

"He said maybe it'll make me start talking to that guy but I don't even see why-" 

All of a sudden, every light vanished from the common room and with it the music. 

"Oh no“, Harry whispered. It was completely dark but this time, this time he had his wand with him. He fumbled on his trousers when he realized he didn't bring it again. It was supposed to be a party, no one would get hurt. People around him whispered, some demanded loudly for music again. They didn't know. They didn't know they were in trouble. A hand gently wrapped itself around Harrys arm and he felt a person breathing against his neck. 

"It´s alright, Harry, I´m here“, Malfoy said. Harry needed to be out of there, have light surrounding him, have his wand to secure everybody but still, he didn't move and he didn't want to. A part of him believed Malfoys words. He was there, therefore Harry was safe. What was even going on that everything had changed like that, they weren't even friends. The fastening of his heartbeat seemed to announce a panic attack but somehow harry felt calmer and then there was a purple light coming from the middle of the room. For a second the hand stayed on Harrys arm, then it stroke down his arm and left, making Harry feel cold. 

"Ladies and gentlemen“, Seamus and Dean shouted together, appearing in the purple light, letting the other students around them clap. 

“Now that both the bride and the groom made it to this little party of ours, we can finally truly celebrate!“ The crowd started to shout approvingly while Hermione and Ron were happy about the darkness hiding their bright red cheeks.  
Harry sighed. His heartbeat slowed down but he was still shaking a bit. Of course, there was nothing to be scared of, it was just a party. 

"I´m sorry“, Harry murmured but Malfoy shock his head. 

"Don't be“, Malfoy answered. "Don't ever be.“

 

The party really was something else. During his years in Hogwarts, Harry has been at some amazing partys before. The ones after winning the Quidditch matches were the best ones so far but this was different in a lot of ways. First of all, there weren’t any younger students, though Harry suspected that some secretly sneaked inside from time to time, stealing some firewhiskey.  
Loud music was playing out of Deans wand and some students were dancing in the middle of the common room but Harry wondered how many of the dance moves would have happened without quite a lot of amount of butter beer and firewhiskey.  
Harry laughed along with Dean and Seamus for a while, then clapped as Neville stripped down to his pants and then turned around and saw Draco Malfoy talking to the hot mysterious Ravenclaw that Dean and Seamus were all over at the beginning of the night. Harry felt a punch in his stomach. He decided it was time to stop drinking. 

"Hey Potter“ 

He turned around and saw Blaise in front of him, Ginny helped Neville get dressed again a couple meters away.

"Yea?“ 

Blaise chuckled. 

"You're staring.“ He nodded over to Malfoy and Simon. "Just tell me which one is it?“

"I´m not staring“, Harry said quickly.

Blaise laughed again. 

"As if your life depended on it“, Blaise said, patted Harrys shoulder hard and turned around to help Ginnny dress Neville. 

Harry looked around, seeing everyone laugh and have fun. Hermione and Ron were dancing wildly next to a few Hufflepuffs. Seamus and Dean were making out on the dance floor and Harrys face felt hot, so hot he thought everyone could see it burning. 

He needed to get out, get some air. 

When he crossed Malfoy, he didn't look at him.

 

 _Does it bother me or is it the alcohol? And why would it bother me?_ Harry shock his head. Malfoy could talk to everyone he wanted. He could meet with anyone and he could kiss anyone.. He shock his head again. It _did_ bother him.

 

Harry walked without aim for a while and found himself in front of the Charms classrooms and as he went inside the first one, he felt the room spinning slightly. 

He sank down on the floor and leaned against a wall. What was going on?

Suddenly he sat up straight as he heard footsteps closing in. For a second he thought it was Filch, because wasn't it always Filch when you're outside your bed in the middle of the night? But his step would be more shuffling. Maybe it was someone from the party? It was too late to hide so Harry just sat there, thinking the person would probably pass the classroom anyway. But he was wrong and two seconds later, Draco Malfoy walked into the classroom. Harry was too drunk to wonder why they only met in such strange moments.

"Are you okay?“, Malfoy asked, looking worried. Looking worried? 

"Wanna sit?“, Harry asked and Malfoy stepped a bit closer. 

"If you don't mind.“

"I never mind“, Harry answered. 

Malfoy sat down next to Harry, looking around the room.

"I thought you'd be with this Ravenclaw“, Harry blurted out and saw Malfoy frown. 

"Why would I be with him?, he asked, now, finally looking Harry in his eyes.

"I just thought..“, Harry started but broke off. 

Even in his state he knew what he was about to say would sound incredibly jealous. And he wasn't jealous. He couldn't be.. _or could he?_

"Maybe you should stop doing that“, Malfoy said but he didn't sound mean and he smiled. He _smiled_.

"So.. did you follow me?“, Harry asked.

"I did. I thought you might be having another panic attack.“

"So.. you were worried about me, weren't you?“ 

"Yes, Harry. I was worried about you. What are you doing here?“

But Harry didn't answer.

"Why would _you_ worry about _me_?“

They stared at each other for a few moments and suddenly Harry felt a strange desire touch the boy in front of him, to make him come so much closer.

"You don't have to be nice to me.“

"No“, Malfoy answered slowly. "I don't have to do anything I don't want to.“

They went quiet again and just looked at each other until it was almost too much but none of them dared to do anything.

 

There were steps again and both of them jumped up as if they've been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing. 

"It`s Filch“, Harry whispered and instinctively reached out his arm to hold Malfoy back from the door. 

"How would you know?“, Malfoy whispered back and stepped forward. Harry felt Malfoys chest against his arm. 

"I`ve spent quite some time wandering the halls at night and running from Filch“, Harry answered, listening closely to what might be going on  
on the other side of the door. There were no footsteps anymore but Harry thought Filch couldn't possibly know they were in here. 

"I`d love to hear about that sometime“, Draco whispered and Harry felt the heat which he ran from in the common room rise up again inside of him. 

"Got your wand?“, Harry asked and Malfoy drew it out.

Harry put his hand on Malfoys' and pointed the wand against the door.

"Colloportus“, he murmured, feeling the spell lock the door and not leaving Malfoy's hand.

"Just to be safe“, he said, not being able to keep his eyes from the Slytherin. 

He felt his hand acting as if it wasn't his own, as if he had no control over what he was doing. His fingers traced up Malfoys arm with the lightest touch. The Slytherin didn't say anything, he just looked at him. Harry stepped closer, so they were just inches apart. He could feel the others breath, unsure about what to do next. 

"Harry-“

“You're very confusing you know“, Harry said quietly.

"Thats pretty fun coming out of your mouth“, Draco said and Harry heard his voice being hoarse and felt just a tiny bit reassured. Maybe, just  
maybe..

He felt The other boys breath on his skin.

It was as if the world had slowed down. As if there was no one else in this world. He was so close. _How can someone be so close?_

His hand was on Dracos face. Light. Soft. Just a minimal touch on his jaw. 

He didn't know if he was breathing anymore. His mind was so clear but then, not clear at all.  
It was electric. Electric but soft. And it only lasted seconds but it felt so long. 

He was excited and at the same time he felt scared.

 _So close_.

"Harry..“

 

Quick footsteps. Harry withdrew his hand and both boys each took a step back as someone tried opening the door from the other side. Someone giggled. 

"Let´s find another one, this ones locked“, a voice whispered. 

They moved away and Harry didn't dare looking at the other boy. 

"Let`s..“, Harry started but didn't continue. He didn't know what to say and his face started to burn. 

"Yeah“, Draco said, not quite looking at him either. "Let`s go back.“

They walked silently, slowly.

No one knew what to say or if there was something to say at all.

 

Harry woke up as Ron cursed out loud.  
He sat up quickly and the room span around him for a few seconds. 

"What´s goin on?“ 

"Fell over one of Neville`s plants, it´s alright“, Ron answered. „Are you okay? I heard Seamus stole some hangover potion or at least they’re  
selling it as one.“

"No, no, Im fine. Where`s everyone?“ 

"Breakfast. You comin?“ 

For a moment Harry considered just going back to sleep but he suddenly felt his stomach and maybe.. maybe Draco would be at breakfast, too.

 

To Harrys disappointment, he wasn’t. 

Scowling, Harry ate his eggs and toast, looking up to scan the Slytherin table from time to time. He felt Hermiones eyes on him but ignored her until two second years next to them had moved out of the hall and there wasn't anyone in earshot. 

"Harry, where did you go last night?“ 

Knowing Hermione, he was prepared for this question. 

"Had to get some air, just walked around a bit.“

"And you didn't see anyone?“

"No, seems like breaking rules has always been just our thing“, Harry answered calmly and Hermione frowned but a smile creeped across her face.

"You know I don't consider myself part of-“ Hermione broke off and her smile fell from her face. Following her gaze, Harry watched a group of Slytherins enter the Great Hall. For a second, he wondered why Hermione would be startled by that but then he saw a pale blonde figure and he stood up abruptly. Draco clearly had been hit. 

"Harry, whats going on, sit back down“, Hermione hissed. At the other side of the hall, Draco had stopped walking to take a seat between Zabini and a younger student Harry didn't know. As if he knew Harry was there, he looked up and their eyes met. It felt magical for a few slow seconds but then Malfoy dropped his gaze and sat down, while Hermione pulled at Harrys t-shirt, to make him fall back on the bench. 

"What´s with his face?“, Ron asked, as Harry sat back down, his fists clenched in his lap. He hadn’t felt this angry in a long time. 

"Well, that shouldn't happen“, Hermione said quietly, quickly looking over to the teachers. "But it was bound to happen someday, anyway.“

"What does that mean?“, Harry snapped.

"You know exactly what this is about“, Hermione looked worried, exchanging quick looks with Ron who sat across from them.

"He´s a former Death Eater. A lot of the students here have lost someone in the war and they aren't as forgiving as others and especially do  
not tolerate people like Malfoy being back in school. I hear them sometimes, whispering. They´re angry and scared and honestly you cant blame them.“ Hermione increased her volume when she realized, Harry wanted to interrupt her.

"They don't know about him, Harry. They don't know he changed sides last year, they don't know he saved your life and not a single one of them understands what living with you-know-who in their own house must have been like but they don't care. They see Malfoy as a threat.“

Harry didn't say anything. He felt the need to do something, to say something, right in that place at that time, so everybody could hear. _We were all just surviving_ , he thought. One way or another.

 

After breakfast McGonagall took Malfoy to the side and Ron dragged Harry from the Great Hall and through the Entrance Hall down the stairs. 

"Why are you so angry“, Ron asked as they were alone.

"I´m just- immensely confused“, Harry answered, not looking at his best friend.

"Okay, and what about?“ 

"We haven't visited Hagrid in a while, how about we do that after Hermione got her notes back?“

"Sure.“

Harry felt Rons gaze and he wondered why people always thought they could read him but then again, he has never been good at hiding things.

"I´ll just get a coat, then“, he said.

 

The three of them stayed with Hagrid until the late afternoon but Harry didn't forget Malfoy for a second. He shouldn't be petting Fang or eating suspicious cake when he should be looking for Malfoy and the person who did this to him. When did I get so involved? 

"Did you know they found a couple of Death Eaters hiding out in Scandinavia, trials will be next month“, Ron said and Harry, who hadn't been listening to what they were talking about, looked up. 

"What?“

"Yeah, I mean they weren't active or anything, just hiding out. Probably thought they'd be safe in a different country.“ 

"Someone we know?“, Hermione asked and Harry saw Ron hesitating for a second. 

"Nobody of importance. Doesn't matter anyway because they're all locked away now. And no one was badly injured.“

"Yeah, I mean we had enough of that, didn't we?“, Hermione said and took another piece of the cake. Ron and Harry stared at her in disbelieve  
but she shrugged. 

 

"You know, I always feel as if I should be out there hunting them“, Harry said quietly as he and Ron went up the stairs to their dorm. 

"But at the other hand, I know I don't want to. Kinda think Ive had enough though I know I should, but ..“, he trailed off. 

"Sure, man. You wanna save people, that´s your thing. But nobody can tell you to be an Auror you know. You should just- chill for a couple of years or something.“ 

They reached the dorm room and ended their conversation abruptly. Dean and Seamus were making out furiously in the middle of the room, tucking at each others clothes. Ron sighed. 

"Why don't you get a room?“, he asked. 

"We literally just did that“, Dean answered, panting hard and still holding Seamus tightly. 

Ron stomped over to his bed but Harry couldn't move. He felt as if something slowly sank in and his face was getting hot. 

"Where did you disappear to yesterday anyway?“, Seamus wondered, pulling Dean with him towards the door. "And with whom?“

"I-“ His face was really hot now and he knew the others could see that, too. 

"I´ll just take a quick shower before bed.“ 

"Of course“, Seamus laughed and walked out. "We´ll be getting a room now, gentlemen, don't wait up.“

 

He let the hot water run over his body as he just stood there, trying not to think about how he and Malfoy would look like, deeply tangled and kissing if they needed it to breathe.

 

The picture had injected itself so deep into his brain that he couldn't sleep, couldn't close his eyes without seeing Malfoys face. Time went by and he heard Semaus and Dean coming back, Ron and Neville were long asleep. After another hour of tossing and turning he decided to go for a walk again, slightly hoping that he would somehow end up running in the boy he lately appeared to meet whenever he was roaming the castle alone.

Harry wasn't wearing his Invisibility Cloak and he knew it was stupid but somehow detention didn't frighten him anymore after all he had been through. What was there to worry anyway? Filch? He suppressed a laugh. There was nothing. 

But then Malfoys face sprung into his mind. The school wasn't as safe for him as it was for Harry, was it? Or were there some Death Eater kids that were trying to get him alone? No. 

He kept walking around the castle for almost an hour, went to all places where one could casually meet Draco Malfoy but he didn't meet anyone. Not even Mrs. Norris. Strange, wasn't it? Harry felt fear running over him and he sighed. It was time to get back to bed before he would be too lost in his thoughts. There wasn't anyone but him, no Snape on patrol, no mystery to solve and definitely no one to fight. 

Harry shock the image of Snape out of his head and turned into a corridor that would lead him back to the Gryffindor common room. He couldn't hide that he felt disappointed, not having met Malfoy but he would see him in class tomorrow morning after all. _It´s not the same, is it?_

 _You want to get him alone._ There was no use in denying it but why should he deny anything anyway? When he reached the portray of the Fat Lady and woke her up, he felt scared again. He knew Malfoy usually had his walls up high at all times and it wouldn’t be better now after he was attacked. 

 

Harry was inexplicably nervous before Potions class on Monday morning, and even was ten minutes early after barely having eaten anything for breakfast. 

His face wasn't looking much better. Harry tried catching his eyes but Malfoy seemed to avoid him. Harrys nervousness increased during class and he didn't hear a word Slughhorn said and couldn't wait until class would finally over, he needed to talk to him. 

It seemed hours later when Slughhorn finally dismissed them and most of the students hurried to get out and find their next class. Harry told Ron and Hermione to go ahead and waited until Draco had packed his things to quietly follow him. Zabini was at his side when Harry reached him in a corridor. He was shaking.

"Malfoy, I- Draco..“, He turned around and Harry could see his face up close, which didn't make anything better. 

"Hey, Potter“, Blaise said and nodded. Harry had almost forgotten that they were friendly now. 

"Would you mind- I mean can we talk?“

"I will be in the common room“, Blaise said and strolled away.

Malfoy didn't look at him. 

"Who did this to you?“

"Does it matter?“ Malfoy sounded distant, still not looking at him.

"Of course it does! Did you tell anyone?“

"It´s not like I wasn't expecting it someday, I´m alright.“

"There´s no excuse.“

"Who wouldn't like to beat up a Death Eater anyway.“ 

Malfoy turned around and started walking away and after a second Harry moved, too. 

"Don't say that!“, he cried but Malfoy didn't stop and Harrry grabbed his arm. 

"I have to get to class“, Draco said and finally he looked at him. His guard was up but Harry saw sadness in his eyes.

"Don't be distant. Let me- let me help.“

"There´s no one to help.“ 

"Listen to me.“ 

Harry stepped closer and let go of Dracos arm. 

"You don't need walls with me. Go to class but meet me tonight. Then we can talk.“

And with that, he stepped away.

 

"There you are“, Harry said. He had stared at the Marauders Map for the last three hours and radically ran out of his dorm when he saw that Draco had left the common room. It was well after midnight now.

Draco jumped as he heard Harrys voice but relaxed as he recognized it and turned around. 

"I wasn't sure if you'd come.“ 

"No, I wasn't either. I was ashamed.“

"Because some kids beat you up? Tell me who it was.“

"I could have hexed them, I could have defended myself but I was too weak.“

"You and your Slytherin pride“, Harry joked and Draco almost smiled. 

"Says the Gryffindor? Maybe you should look at your own house first. Can we get somewhere else?“

"Sure, where you wanna go?“ 

"Up for a late night snack?“ 

 

"Have you had any more panic attacks?“

"So, you are allowed to care about me but you wont answer my questions?“, Harry asked.

"Exactly.“

"Did they attack you after it was made public that some Death Eaters were imprisoned?“

Draco sighed but nodded. "Yeah.“

“Please tell me next time.“

“And what are you gonna do about it?“ 

“We´ll see.“

Draco slipped his fingers over he pear on the painting in front of the kitchen and it immediately swung open. 

“Where is everyone?“ 

“House-elves do need a bit sleep as well from time to time. But they´re probably just cleaning the castle at the moment.“

"So what about the snack?“

“Well, those little elves aren't stupid“, Draco said and for the first time he actually smiled. 

“They know the students. And students are always hungry.“ 

He opened a cupboard on the long left wall and waved over to Harry.

“Come, choose.“ 

Again, Harry was amazed with the elves that somehow made an old castle a home. He took out two bottles of butterbeer and deliciously looking chocolate muffins.

“Good choice.“

They ate and when one of them joked about something, the other laughed and Harry felt every weigh lift off of him. He could barely see  
Dracos bruises in his face in the dim light and as the young man spoke, nothing in his voice indicated that he might have been hurt.

“We could just vanish the bottles“, Draco said as they were finished.

“Or we just leave them and write a thank you note“, Harry replied and Draco smiled.

“Maybe you belong in Hufflepuff.“

Harry laughed. 

“Just being nice, you know.“ He stood up and put the bottles on a counter, so clean that Petunia would have been proud. Quickly, he shock his aunt out of his head and turned to Draco who now took another muffin out of the cupboard. 

“Snacks for on the way.“ 

Harry looked at him for a while until he said 

"You need to forgive yourself. Or else you won´t ever accept people that forgive you.“

"It`s hard.“

"I know. How many people have lost their lives because of me? I have to live with it every day as well. We were all fighting something that was  
much bigger than us. And even though it´s over, it never really is.“

Draco looked at him and there was something in his eyes that told Harry he had really listened to what he had just said. Harry stepped closer and felt as if they were back in the classroom, a couple of nights ago. But now that he was sober, Harry felt even more scared. 

“Nicely said.“ Dracos´ voice sounded just as hoarse as it did in that empty classroom

“I wanted to talk to you about the night of the party..“

“It´s okay“, Draco quickly said. “You were drunk.“

“Yeah..“ 

Draco turned towards the painting to go back. 

“No! I mean I was drunk but I didn’t- not because—“ 

Draco quickly closed the distance between them and put his hand on Harry neck. 

“I know. But I wasn't sure.“ 

He looked deeply in Harrys eyes. Harry nodded and Draco kissed him. His lips were incredibly soft and the boy was unbelievably gentle. Harry couldn't understand what was happening but his arms wrapped themselves around the other boy and he kissed him back. Slowly, carefully. 

And it was the best he's ever felt. 

Harry couldn't tell how long the kids lasted, he only felt Dracos lips and his hands in his hair, on his neck, stroking his arms. They could keep on doing this forever when they heard small footsteps closing in. Draco broke the kiss and whispered “House-elves. Let`s get out of here.“ 

Draco took Harrys hand, guiding him out of the kitchen and through the empty Great Hall. In a smaller corridor Harry stopped, tucked at his arm and pulled him in. 

“What are we doing?“

“I don't know, I got some pretty good ideas“, Draco answered, bit his lip and made his face turn red. 

“You know, I thought you only wanted to kiss me because you were drunk and horny.“

“I mean I _was_ drunk and horny“, Harry laughed, hesitated and added; “I´m pretty horny now.“

Draco looked at him intensely, then grabbed his shirt and pushed him back two steps so Harry was flat against the wall with Draco pressed hardly against him.

“I like to hear that“, he whispered, putting their lips together. It wasn't like the first kiss at all. This one was heated, hungrier, more desperate. 

They were kissing as if they were fighting, both trying to have the upper hand while enjoying being pushed around. Harry felt Draco sucking on his neck and bringing their lips back together as they collided hardly and Harry nibbled the other boys lip. He grabbed Dracos arse hard with both hands and felt him groan into his mouth, as Harry bit down into his neck. And he wanted him , right there and then, didn't care that they were out in a hallway like that as he thrusted their hips together and felt them both being hard. 

“Oh god“, Draco cried, holding onto Harrys waist and pushing them - even though it seemed impossible- further together. Both of them gasped as they were grinding against each other and nothing mattered in that moment.

“Harry, I -“ Draco said breathlessly and they stopped, just looking at one another. Their eyes, dark with lust. 

“Harry“, he said again and something in his eyes flickered. 

And Harry understood.

And slowly, without every looking away from his eyes, he got down on his knees. He waited for Draco to nod but there was something else and suddenly he was on his feet again. Someone was coming. _Not now, oh please not now_ , Harry begged. 

“Where do we go?“, Draco whispered, panic in his voice. But there was no classroom to hide in and the corridor was too long to get somewhere else in time.

“Students! Out of bed!“

Harry sighed as Filch reached them. He was still achingly hard. 

"Just because young Potter saved the Wizarding World a couple of times still doesn't make him immune to school rules“, Filch spat. 

“Looks like you been fighting“, he panted. “Follow.“

They did not say a single word the whole way down to Filchs small office and didn't exchange a single look. For a couple of seconds Harry  
thought about just running off to get off in a bathroom somewhere.

“Sit. And wait. I get the head teachers to decide a punishment.“

Harry couldn’t believe his luck as Filch shuffled away, mumbling excitedly.

They sat on two shaky wooden stairs as they finally looked at each other which sent shivers down his spine. Dracos eyes dropped to Harry lips and his face slowly moved closer until Harry closed the distance to kiss him deeply. Dracos hand reached up to Harrys neck. 

“We shouldn't get caught“, Draco sighed against Harrys mouth who left his lips, nibbling on his neck. 

“We won´t. He's not that fast.“

He used the hand that wasn’t gently around Dracos throat to slip underneath Dracos shirt, roaming his naked chest and feeling the other boy shiver beneath his fingers. He didn't know why he was being so forward when in his past relationships he hadn't been anything like that before.  
But now it was like he was magically drawn to the Slytherin. His hand travelled lower while he was still hungrily kissing Draco, until he reached the waistband of silky pajama pants, slowly tracing it and caressing the skin just above it. With his hand slowly moving he broke the kiss to lock eyes and silently asked for consent. Draco looked at him, nodded with a burning face and caught Harrys mouth with his. 

Reassured, he slipped his hand into his pants and felt Draco being incredibly hard.

“Let me help you with that“, Harry murmured and started stroking him.

Hearing Draco gasp with pleasure because of something he was doing might be enough to sent Harry over the edge, he thought and sped up his pace. 

Draco closed his eyes, bit his lip and Harry watched him so intensely he felt almost as if he was intruding something. Tentatively, Harry put slightly more pressure around Dracos throat and Dracos mouth fell open in a silent gasp. He looked at Harry and bit his lip pretty hard before he closed his eyes again. Harry could feel pre come beneath his fingers as he slipped them above the head, while feeling himself leak into his trousers. 

Draco was breathing rapidly as Harry wanked him off and stroked his neck. In a small part of his brain that he was trying hard to ignore, told him there were footsteps. Quiet and far away, but moving closer.

“Harry.“ Dracos voice was hoarse, quiet and he breathed out the name like a prayer . 

“Do it.“ And with that, Harry increased the pressure around Dracos cock and around his throat and Draco cried out. Warm cum spilled over Harrys hand and Draco just stared at Harry as he quickly cast a cleaning charm. 

“Harry“, Draco said again. Harry saw his lip bleeding where he bit down on it. 

“You..“, his eyes were dark as they dropped to Harry´s pants and harry knew he could see how hard he still was. Draco opened his mouth but  
the opening of the office door made him close it immediately. Harry sighed, crossing his legs to hide his erection as Filch walked in with  
Professor Slughorn and Professor McGonagall. 

They tried looking as innocent as possible but Harry knew that only someone as incompetent as Filch wouldn't see what just happened. 

“Harry!“, Slughorn greeted.

“See, they been fighting, out of their beds! Middle of the night!“, Filch croaked.

Professor McGonagall frowned, looking at the boys.

“Why aren't you two in bed?“, she asked sternly.

“Ive been.. taking a walk“, Harry started. “I couldn't sleep.“ 

“Taking a walk?!“, Filch cried bitterly.

“I met Draco accidentally“, he added, ignoring Filch and prayed his cheeks wouldn't turn red.

“And we weren't fighting, we just .. talked.“

“Do you have to say something about this?“, Mcgonagall asked Draco who hadn't said anything yet. 

“No, Harry´s right. We didn't fight.“ 

McGonagall raised her eyebrows and exchanged looks with Slughorn. 

“Well, we understand that the aftermath of the war isn't easy for anyone and I can excuse wandering the castle this once, looking at what you all have been through.“ 

“Professor.. no!“, Filch croaked angrily.

“I hope you two understand that I cant always excuse this but Im certain everyone should be going back to bed now, don't you boys?“

Harry caught Dracos gaze and shrugged. He didn't know how to handle a Professor McGonagall that wasn't stern.

Draco seemed equally confused and looked at Professor Slughorn, probably wondering if he had something left to say but he was quiet. 

“Off you go now.“ 

They walked in silence behind the teachers and as Slughorn turned left, McGonagall stopped and looked at Draco.

“I believe that is the way to your common room, Mr. Malfoy, isn't it?“

“Right, good night Professor.“ He smiled shyly at Harry and nodded.

“See you tomorrow.“

 

McGonagall walked Harry to the portrait of the Fat Lady, wishing him goodnight.

“I´m glad you two made up.“ She smiled and Harry knew she knew. He turned red and hurried to get through the portrait hole. 

“You could think he´d behave more like an example after everything“, he heard the Fat Lady say to McGonagall.

“He´s always been just a boy, Violet. Leave him be.“ 

And as Harry laid down and felt sleep creeping over him he felt for the first time after months after the war that everything might be going to be okay after all.

He grinned, thinking about Draco´s face as he drifted away in his dreams.

 

Morning light slipped lazily through the curtains and danced over Harrys body as he rolled over and finally woke up. 

"Wow, Harry“, Ron said who stood at the end of his own bed, fully dressed and with a broom in his hand. 

"You haven't slept that long since like second year. Didn't you have nightmares?“

Harry sat up and rifled through his hair. 

"I don't think so.“ 

He grinned at Ron who looked more confused than ever.

“You wanna go fly a little?“

“Sure.. what happened to you though?“, Ron wondered.

“It´s just a good day isn't it?“, Harry answered, grinning as he got out of bed. 

“I suppose.. well, I´m happy“


End file.
